One of the tricky things over time is that you look for something and ask a question: will this be the thing that fixes it? The “when” question we throw at ourselves: I will be this when… I will do this when… We keep going, and there’s no stopping point to the question. What we really end up with is an infinite loop of the same recurring questions that, over time, we’re unable to answer or even achieve the thing we’re chasing.

What we’re really doing is optimizing, looking for shortcuts, or imitating what’s presented before us. We have a FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) that triggers us in many dimensions at once. And we start feeling irritated with ourselves, as if something is inherently wrong with us.

Among the endless pursuits out there, it’s hard to know which ones are worth your time. Most look meaningful on the surface. They promise growth, recognition, maybe even freedom. But many are just disguised ways of keeping you busy without bringing you closer to anything real.

And because there’s so much noise, it’s easy to confuse what looks important with what actually matters. The system around you rewards the appearance of success more than the substance of it.

How do we go from where we are now to where we really want to be?

But even where we want to be is a flawed question. There’s no guarantee. At best, you’re making guesses and hoping to land where you think you want to be.

A better way to think about it is to focus on what to do, not where to be. The place will take care of itself. If the work is good enough, it will naturally lead you to the right places.

This doesn’t mean drifting aimlessly to wherever your skills happen to take you. It means choosing work you actually care about, work you want to get better at, and doing it well. When you focus on the quality of the work itself, you create opportunities you couldn’t have predicted. And the places you end up will feel more like a byproduct than a goal.

Chasing places for their own sake is misleading. If you’re chasing them, you’re likely doing it from an identity standpoint. You’ve decided that being at that place is prestigious.

Yes, there are places where great people work, and of course you might want to be there. But what will actually take you there is your competence. The upfront desire to be there will only become a source of irritation. So it’s better to spend your time building skills.

Focus on the nature of the work. Do it wholeheartedly without lingering on places or prestigious associations.