One of the derailing forces in our life is pretension. It quietly shapes many of the paths we end up choosing. We often behave in ways that feel natural but are actually copies of old ideals, fantasies, or images we once admired. Without noticing it, we start mimicking what we think we should be, instead of who we actually are.

If you are unaware of your own level of pretension then it might be ruling your life instead of you ruling it. This becomes obvious when you face internal conflict. You might genuinely want to move in one direction, yet you choose another because it gives you the chance to project a certain image. You hold on to that image even though it is not what you truly want.

When you ignore the real basis of your choices, your behavior, and your automatic reactions, you also overlook what is genuinely bothering you. You might distract yourself or try to suppress those feelings, but they eventually return. They always do.

To fix this, you need to reflect on it honestly and address the issue at its root. This starts with questioning your base model for how you interpret the world, how you see yourself, and how you assign value to things. For example, why are you in your current major? Is it because of the prestige of the potential job or because you genuinely care about the subject?

If you are driven mainly by these external forces, then you are more susceptible to other forms of pretension. You are more likely to fake your identity, to act like an ideal version of yourself, and lose your grounding in the actual work. That leads to incompetence compared to who you could be if you focused on what truly matters. Real competence grows when you concentrate on the subject itself, and the prestige usually takes care of itself later.

So what do you do once you realize that your orientation is off, that your ideal is misplaced, and that you have been masking yourself with pretension?

One way forward is to shift your focus back to the subject. Focus on the real competence behind your ideal. Work on closing the gap between pretending and being genuinely skilled.

The truth is. You cannot fake competence. You might pull it off for a while, but eventually you will fall short, or you will fail to grow in the way you could have if you had built real skill.

Competence scales. Pretension does not.